The Nexus Teen Academy editorial and clinical team is dedicated to providing informative and accurate content to help families who are struggling with adolescent behavioral health problems. The editorial team works directly with the clinical team to ensure information is accurate and up-to-date.
To do this, our team uses the following editorial guidelines:
We generally only cite government and peer-reviewed studies
Scientific claims and data are backed by qualified sources
Content is updated to ensure we are citing the most up-to-date data and information
Clinically reviewed by Executive Director Hannah Carr, LPC
Executive Director Hannah Carr, LPC
Hannah graduated from Arizona State University with her Bachelor’s in Psychology and Master’s in Counseling and is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Arizona. She began her work as a therapist 12 years ago in South Phoenix with an intensive outpatient program for teens and their families. She joined Nexus in the residential program as the clinical director, eventually being promoted to the executive director, creating and building the clinical program structure and a strong culture focused on redirecting the trajectory of young lives.
The Nexus Teen Academy Editorial Staff is composed of writers, editors, and clinical reviewers with many years of experience writing about mental health and behavioral health treatment. Our team utilizes peer-reviewed, clinical studies from sources like SAMHSA to ensure we provide the most accurate and current information.
During adolescence, teenagers can seem like they are out of control, becoming more unpredictable due to factors like hormonal changes. As a parent, it is vital to learn how to properly deal with your teen’s out-of-control behavior and whether you should get professional help.
This article will help parents understand out-of-control behavior and examine the root causes of such behavior and factors that can escalate it. It will also guide parents on the dos and don’ts of dealing with problematic teen behaviors. If you would like more information about the topic or are interested in treatment options for your teen, contact Nexus Teen Academy today.
What Does “Out-of-Control” Teen Behavior Really Mean?
There is no single definition for ‘out-of-control’ teen behavior. Some parents believe that yelling or talking back to them is problematic behavior. However, to an extent, these can be a regular part of growing up. As teenagers age, they crave independence and will likely try to build an identity separate from the one their parents have molded. These factors can make your teenager act in ways that some parents find unacceptable.
Problematic or ‘out-of-control’ behaviors go beyond normal teenage behavior. They include behaviors like drug and substance abuse, self-harm tendencies, engaging in risky sexual behavior, extreme anger or violence, and delinquency. These behaviors often signify an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
The root cause of troubled teen behaviors is usually an underlying mental health struggle, such as depression, trauma, grief, and bullying. As a parent or guardian, you should always try to uncover the root cause of your teen’s behavior. You can work with a mental health professional to better understand the problem and risks at hand.
Common Triggers Behind Escalating Teen Behavior
Problematic teen behaviors rarely emerge out of the blue. They are triggered by various internal and external factors. The following are some reasons why your teenager might be acting out:
Family Conflict or Instability
Teenagers absorb what they see in their environment. If there is continued family conflict or a tumultuous environment, they may adopt the same behavior because they think it is normal. They can start getting into fights with their siblings or being aggressive towards their parents. Family instability can also lead to problematic teen behavior. If your teen is constantly being moved around or has to worry about their future continually, they can develop negative teen behaviors.
Academic Pressure and School Failure
Academic pressure can contribute to the development of negative behavior. Many parents, teachers, and caregivers pressure their teens to perform well in school. Although the pressure is well-intentioned, it can easily overwhelm your teen, causing burnout. As a result, they may start engaging in problematic behaviors such as missing school or skipping some classes.
Teenagers with learning disabilities are most likely to be affected by academic pressure. Although they try their best, it may not reflect in their academic performance, which can lead to feelings of low self-worth and depression. This makes them feel depressed and undervalued.
Mental Health Challenges
Teens with depression, teen PTSD, ADHD, and oppositional defiant disorder are more likely to develop problematic behavior. For example, teens with ODD tend to be irritable, argumentative, and vengeful. These behaviors can escalate to aggression and even violence. Similarly, PTSD can make your teen angry and aggressive. As a parent or guardian, you should always ensure your teenager is physically and mentally healthy, and if you notice a problem, seek professional help.
Substance Use or Risky Peer Influence
Substance use is a common problematic behavior. Many teenagers start using drugs out of curiosity or increased risk-taking behavior. However, they can easily get hooked on and addicted to the drugs. According to a survey by Mental Health America, the most common reason why teenagers use drugs is to feel relaxed. A staggering 50% of youth use drugs out of curiosity or experimentation. Another 44% use it as a way of forgetting their troubles. As a parent or guardian, you should always ensure your teen understands the risks of drug and substance abuse. Educate them about the dangers of early drug use and the risks of addiction.
Environmental and Social Factors
Other factors, such as bullying and social media influence, can trigger the development of problematic behavior. In today’s society, social media significantly impacts teen behavior, with social media trends encouraging risky or even dangerous behaviors. As a parent, guardian, or caregiver, you should ensure your teen does not engage in such harmful trends.
What Not to Do When Your Teen Is Out of Control
Parenting an out-of-control teen’s behavior can be challenging. As a result, many parenting mistakes are made. You should avoid the following when dealing with troubled teens:
Avoid Overreacting or Using Harsh Punishment
Problematic teen behaviors can easily get under your skin. However, you should avoid reacting angrily, overreacting, or using harsh punishments. When you react angrily, your teen may shut down and refuse to communicate with you. When this happens, it can be difficult to find a productive path forward with them. Similarly, using harsh punishments can make your teen resentful, as they may feel like the punishment is disproportionate to the behavior. This will discourage meaningful conversation and can hurt your teen even further.
Don’t Ignore the Problem or Hope It Will Pass
The same way problematic behaviors do not come out of the blue is the same way that they do not go away by themselves. When you ignore your teen’s behavior, you are, in essence, enabling their harmful actions. This can make their behaviors worse. Similarly, it can make your teen feel like you have given up on them. This affects their identity, self-worth, and overall mental health.
Avoid Shaming or Labeling
Labeling your teen as problematic is not a great way to parent. Labels make your teen feel like they are the problem, damaging their identity and self-worth. Instead, you should focus on the negative behavior and not your teen’s personality.
Constructive Strategies for Parents with Out-of-Control Teens
Now that we have covered what you should avoid, the following are helpful strategies to help your teen:
Stay Calm and Establish Emotional Boundaries
As a parent or guardian, you should take your time to respond appropriately when your teen is acting up. Talk to your teen with intention and empathy. Avoid having heated discussions about the situation. If you feel angry, take a moment to recollect your thoughts. When you do this, you can connect with your teen easily. Emotional connections allow teens to open up about their behavior since they do not feel attacked.
Consistent Rules and Natural Consequences
Troubled teenagers require structure. As a parent or guardian, you should discuss rules and boundaries with your teenager and let them have a say in what they consider reasonable. Setting arbitrary rules and disproportionate consequences can harm your relationship with your teen. Teenagers who are involved in setting the rules are less likely to break them.
Whenever your teen breaks a rule, apply the natural consequences consistently. Do not let them get away with it. If you do, they are more likely to break the rules again. For example, if your teen stays out too late, grounding them is a natural consequence of their action. If the consequence is disproportionate, they will feel like it is unfair.
Open Communication Even When It’s Hard
Open communication is a valuable skill when dealing with teens. It allows parties to discuss their feelings or opinions without feeling ashamed or judged. As a parent or guardian, you should talk to your teen using an empathetic tone. Avoid dismissing or minimizing their experience. When you do this, you encourage your teen to discuss what bothers them.
Positive Reinforcement Over Constant Punishment
Although punishment can be a good way of preventing negative behavior, positive reinforcement works just as well. Instead of constantly punishing your teenager, reward them whenever they behave well. Rewards can be gifts or words of affirmation. Positive reinforcement teaches your teen that they will be rewarded when they behave well. Since punishment usually feels unfair, it can be counterproductive.
Limit Access to Negative Influences
Your teen’s environment plays a significant role in their behavior. Negative influence from their friends or social media can lead to problematic behaviors. As a parent or guardian, you should limit access to these negative influences. Instead of allowing your teen to hang out with a troublesome group, enroll them in out-of-school activities. This limits their interactions with negative influences.
Telling your teen who they can hang out with can be difficult. Addressing the issue early gives your teen the chance to re-evaluate their friendship.
Model Positive Behavior
Teens learn through observation. As a parent or guardian, you should be a role model to them. Avoid negative behaviors such as excessive alcohol use, insulting other people, or aggressive behaviors. Instead, teach your teen problem-solving, emotional regulation, and open communication.
Teen Behavioral Health Treatment at Nexus Teen Academy
It might seem like all hope is lost when your teen starts exhibiting problematic and out-of-control behaviors. However, Nexus Teen Academy is here to help. Our dedicated team of professionals provides high-quality mental health treatment. We use a compassionate treatment approach to ensure positive mental health outcomes. At Nexus Teen Academy, we use evidence-based and holistic methods to ensure your teen overcomes their challenges. Our family-focused approach also ensures that the entire family is involved during the treatment process.
If you would like to enroll your teen in our transformative teen therapy programs, contact us today and we can provide more information on our programs.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What are the warning signs that my teen needs help beyond home?
There are several warning signs you need to look out for. These include violent behavior, drug and substance use, self-harm, erratic mood swings, risky or harmful behavior, and talk about suicide.
Can therapy really change extreme behavior in teens?
Yes, therapy is the primary treatment for behavioral issues. It helps address the underlying causes of a teen’s extreme behavior by equipping them with the required skills to modulate their behavior.
Should I ever call the police on my teenager?
If your teenager poses a risk of harming others, calling law enforcement should be considered. However, as a parent or guardian, you need to understand the risks of involving the police. For example, you will have little control over the situation.
Is defiance always a sign of a mental health problem?
Defiance is not always a sign of an underlying mental health condition. It can be a sign that your teen is becoming more independent and is comfortable challenging your ideas. It is a way of building identity and independence. However, when your teen is persistently defiant, it may be an indication of an underlying issue.
Executive Director Hannah Carr, LPC and nexus_admin
Dealing with Out-of-Control Teens
FACT CHECKED
The Nexus Teen Academy editorial and clinical team is dedicated to providing informative and accurate content to help families who are struggling with adolescent behavioral health problems. The editorial team works directly with the clinical team to ensure information is accurate and up-to-date.
To do this, our team uses the following editorial guidelines:
Clinically reviewed by Executive Director Hannah Carr, LPC
Executive Director Hannah Carr, LPC
Hannah graduated from Arizona State University with her Bachelor’s in Psychology and Master’s in Counseling and is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Arizona. She began her work as a therapist 12 years ago in South Phoenix with an intensive outpatient program for teens and their families. She joined Nexus in the residential program as the clinical director, eventually being promoted to the executive director, creating and building the clinical program structure and a strong culture focused on redirecting the trajectory of young lives.
Published By Nexus Teen Academy
Nexus Teen Academy
The Nexus Teen Academy Editorial Staff is composed of writers, editors, and clinical reviewers with many years of experience writing about mental health and behavioral health treatment. Our team utilizes peer-reviewed, clinical studies from sources like SAMHSA to ensure we provide the most accurate and current information.
Published On June 28, 2025
Table of Contents
During adolescence, teenagers can seem like they are out of control, becoming more unpredictable due to factors like hormonal changes. As a parent, it is vital to learn how to properly deal with your teen’s out-of-control behavior and whether you should get professional help.
This article will help parents understand out-of-control behavior and examine the root causes of such behavior and factors that can escalate it. It will also guide parents on the dos and don’ts of dealing with problematic teen behaviors. If you would like more information about the topic or are interested in treatment options for your teen, contact Nexus Teen Academy today.
What Does “Out-of-Control” Teen Behavior Really Mean?
There is no single definition for ‘out-of-control’ teen behavior. Some parents believe that yelling or talking back to them is problematic behavior. However, to an extent, these can be a regular part of growing up. As teenagers age, they crave independence and will likely try to build an identity separate from the one their parents have molded. These factors can make your teenager act in ways that some parents find unacceptable.
Problematic or ‘out-of-control’ behaviors go beyond normal teenage behavior. They include behaviors like drug and substance abuse, self-harm tendencies, engaging in risky sexual behavior, extreme anger or violence, and delinquency. These behaviors often signify an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
The root cause of troubled teen behaviors is usually an underlying mental health struggle, such as depression, trauma, grief, and bullying. As a parent or guardian, you should always try to uncover the root cause of your teen’s behavior. You can work with a mental health professional to better understand the problem and risks at hand.
Common Triggers Behind Escalating Teen Behavior
Problematic teen behaviors rarely emerge out of the blue. They are triggered by various internal and external factors. The following are some reasons why your teenager might be acting out:
Family Conflict or Instability
Teenagers absorb what they see in their environment. If there is continued family conflict or a tumultuous environment, they may adopt the same behavior because they think it is normal. They can start getting into fights with their siblings or being aggressive towards their parents. Family instability can also lead to problematic teen behavior. If your teen is constantly being moved around or has to worry about their future continually, they can develop negative teen behaviors.
Academic Pressure and School Failure
Academic pressure can contribute to the development of negative behavior. Many parents, teachers, and caregivers pressure their teens to perform well in school. Although the pressure is well-intentioned, it can easily overwhelm your teen, causing burnout. As a result, they may start engaging in problematic behaviors such as missing school or skipping some classes.
Teenagers with learning disabilities are most likely to be affected by academic pressure. Although they try their best, it may not reflect in their academic performance, which can lead to feelings of low self-worth and depression. This makes them feel depressed and undervalued.
Mental Health Challenges
Teens with depression, teen PTSD, ADHD, and oppositional defiant disorder are more likely to develop problematic behavior. For example, teens with ODD tend to be irritable, argumentative, and vengeful. These behaviors can escalate to aggression and even violence. Similarly, PTSD can make your teen angry and aggressive. As a parent or guardian, you should always ensure your teenager is physically and mentally healthy, and if you notice a problem, seek professional help.
Substance Use or Risky Peer Influence
Substance use is a common problematic behavior. Many teenagers start using drugs out of curiosity or increased risk-taking behavior. However, they can easily get hooked on and addicted to the drugs. According to a survey by Mental Health America, the most common reason why teenagers use drugs is to feel relaxed. A staggering 50% of youth use drugs out of curiosity or experimentation. Another 44% use it as a way of forgetting their troubles. As a parent or guardian, you should always ensure your teen understands the risks of drug and substance abuse. Educate them about the dangers of early drug use and the risks of addiction.
Environmental and Social Factors
Other factors, such as bullying and social media influence, can trigger the development of problematic behavior. In today’s society, social media significantly impacts teen behavior, with social media trends encouraging risky or even dangerous behaviors. As a parent, guardian, or caregiver, you should ensure your teen does not engage in such harmful trends.
What Not to Do When Your Teen Is Out of Control
Parenting an out-of-control teen’s behavior can be challenging. As a result, many parenting mistakes are made. You should avoid the following when dealing with troubled teens:
Avoid Overreacting or Using Harsh Punishment
Problematic teen behaviors can easily get under your skin. However, you should avoid reacting angrily, overreacting, or using harsh punishments. When you react angrily, your teen may shut down and refuse to communicate with you. When this happens, it can be difficult to find a productive path forward with them. Similarly, using harsh punishments can make your teen resentful, as they may feel like the punishment is disproportionate to the behavior. This will discourage meaningful conversation and can hurt your teen even further.
Don’t Ignore the Problem or Hope It Will Pass
The same way problematic behaviors do not come out of the blue is the same way that they do not go away by themselves. When you ignore your teen’s behavior, you are, in essence, enabling their harmful actions. This can make their behaviors worse. Similarly, it can make your teen feel like you have given up on them. This affects their identity, self-worth, and overall mental health.
Avoid Shaming or Labeling
Labeling your teen as problematic is not a great way to parent. Labels make your teen feel like they are the problem, damaging their identity and self-worth. Instead, you should focus on the negative behavior and not your teen’s personality.
Constructive Strategies for Parents with Out-of-Control Teens
Now that we have covered what you should avoid, the following are helpful strategies to help your teen:
Stay Calm and Establish Emotional Boundaries
As a parent or guardian, you should take your time to respond appropriately when your teen is acting up. Talk to your teen with intention and empathy. Avoid having heated discussions about the situation. If you feel angry, take a moment to recollect your thoughts. When you do this, you can connect with your teen easily. Emotional connections allow teens to open up about their behavior since they do not feel attacked.
Consistent Rules and Natural Consequences
Troubled teenagers require structure. As a parent or guardian, you should discuss rules and boundaries with your teenager and let them have a say in what they consider reasonable. Setting arbitrary rules and disproportionate consequences can harm your relationship with your teen. Teenagers who are involved in setting the rules are less likely to break them.
Whenever your teen breaks a rule, apply the natural consequences consistently. Do not let them get away with it. If you do, they are more likely to break the rules again. For example, if your teen stays out too late, grounding them is a natural consequence of their action. If the consequence is disproportionate, they will feel like it is unfair.
Open Communication Even When It’s Hard
Open communication is a valuable skill when dealing with teens. It allows parties to discuss their feelings or opinions without feeling ashamed or judged. As a parent or guardian, you should talk to your teen using an empathetic tone. Avoid dismissing or minimizing their experience. When you do this, you encourage your teen to discuss what bothers them.
Positive Reinforcement Over Constant Punishment
Although punishment can be a good way of preventing negative behavior, positive reinforcement works just as well. Instead of constantly punishing your teenager, reward them whenever they behave well. Rewards can be gifts or words of affirmation. Positive reinforcement teaches your teen that they will be rewarded when they behave well. Since punishment usually feels unfair, it can be counterproductive.
Limit Access to Negative Influences
Your teen’s environment plays a significant role in their behavior. Negative influence from their friends or social media can lead to problematic behaviors. As a parent or guardian, you should limit access to these negative influences. Instead of allowing your teen to hang out with a troublesome group, enroll them in out-of-school activities. This limits their interactions with negative influences.
Telling your teen who they can hang out with can be difficult. Addressing the issue early gives your teen the chance to re-evaluate their friendship.
Model Positive Behavior
Teens learn through observation. As a parent or guardian, you should be a role model to them. Avoid negative behaviors such as excessive alcohol use, insulting other people, or aggressive behaviors. Instead, teach your teen problem-solving, emotional regulation, and open communication.
Teen Behavioral Health Treatment at Nexus Teen Academy
It might seem like all hope is lost when your teen starts exhibiting problematic and out-of-control behaviors. However, Nexus Teen Academy is here to help. Our dedicated team of professionals provides high-quality mental health treatment. We use a compassionate treatment approach to ensure positive mental health outcomes. At Nexus Teen Academy, we use evidence-based and holistic methods to ensure your teen overcomes their challenges. Our family-focused approach also ensures that the entire family is involved during the treatment process.
If you would like to enroll your teen in our transformative teen therapy programs, contact us today and we can provide more information on our programs.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
There are several warning signs you need to look out for. These include violent behavior, drug and substance use, self-harm, erratic mood swings, risky or harmful behavior, and talk about suicide.
Yes, therapy is the primary treatment for behavioral issues. It helps address the underlying causes of a teen’s extreme behavior by equipping them with the required skills to modulate their behavior.
If your teenager poses a risk of harming others, calling law enforcement should be considered. However, as a parent or guardian, you need to understand the risks of involving the police. For example, you will have little control over the situation.
Defiance is not always a sign of an underlying mental health condition. It can be a sign that your teen is becoming more independent and is comfortable challenging your ideas. It is a way of building identity and independence. However, when your teen is persistently defiant, it may be an indication of an underlying issue.