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How to Help a Teen Build Self-Confidence: Parent Strategies

How to Help a Teen Build Self Confidence - Parent Strategies

Low self-confidence in teens rarely gets the attention it deserves despite having several detrimental effects. Lack of self-confidence can hinder teenagers from forming meaningful connections, engaging in social activities, or participating in school. It can also contribute to heightened anxiety or depression and make teens vulnerable to peer pressure. 

At teen mental health treatment center in Arizona, we understand the challenges teenagers face during the developmental years of adolescence. Some of these challenges can interfere with how teenagers perceive themselves, robbing them of their confidence. We offer tailored support, interventions, and resources to prevent teenagers from self-loathing and pervasive feelings of inadequacy. 

Join us as we discuss 8 strategies for parents to help a teen build self-confidence. However, before that, let’s discuss the common signs and reasons behind low self-confidence in teens.

Signs of Low Self-Confidence in Teens

Low self-confidence usually manifests in behaviors, emotions, and daily life. Here are the symptoms and signs of low confidence in teen boys and girls:

Emotional and Behavioral Indicators in Boys and Girls

Lack of self-confidence can come out as emotional and behavioral changes in boys and girls, as shown below: 


  • Avoiding emotional discussions 
  • Reluctance to express vulnerability or ask for help
  • Aggression or excessive competitiveness 
  • Withdrawal from social activities 
  • Frustration or anger when criticized 
  • Engaging in risk-taking behaviors in order to prove themselves
  • Wearing a mask of toughness or indifference to hide their insecurity


  • Frequent negative self-talk 
  • Engaging in self-deprecating behavior 
  • Readily conforming to societal norms
  • Seeking excessive validation from others
  • Heightened anxiety/perfectionism in social settings
  • Inability/reluctance to set boundaries in interpersonal relationships

Lack of self-confidence can also lead to feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, or worthlessness for both girls and boys.

Impact on Daily Life

Low self-confidence can impact teenagers’ daily lives by triggering or worsening the following: 

  • Avoidance of social interactions
  • Poor academic performance, due to fear of failure or lack of belief in abilities
  • Decreased motivation to succeed
  • Failure to pursue new opportunities or engage in extracurricular activities
  • Inability to cope with daily challenges due to heightened stress, anxiety, or depression
  • Difficulties forming or maintaining interpersonal or social relationships
  • Struggles making decisions or asserting opinions
  • Avoiding risks or trying new things due to fear of failure or embarrassment

Reasons Teens Lose Confidence

Here are the main reasons behind the lack of confidence in teens: 

Social Media and Peer Comparison

Social media often depicts certain (unrealistic) happiness, beauty, or success standards that can make teenagers feel inadequate, shattering their self-confidence. Additionally, teens who depend on social media likes, comments, or followers may also. 

On the other hand, teens who compare themselves unfavorably to their peers, both on social media and in real life, may end up feeling inadequate or inferior.

Academic and Extracurricular Pressures

Besides causing overwhelm, academic and extracurricular pressures can trigger or worsen a teenager’s fear of failure, ultimately interfering with their self-belief. Teenagers who fail to measure up to set academic and curricular expectations or manage multiple commitments may also end up doubting themselves or feeling insecure in their abilities. 

Physical and Emotional Changes

The significant physical and emotional changes witnessed during puberty can, without the right support, turn a teenager’s world upside down. Physical changes such as rapid growth spurts and changes in appearances may make teens feel self-conscious or insecure about their bodies, leading to diminished self-confidence. 

Rapid hormonal changes and identity exploration may also intensify a teenager’s fear of rejection or make them more sensitive to criticism.

Family Dynamics and Expectations

Parental expectations and family relationships play a significant role in shaping a teenager’s self-confidence. Teens subjected to overdemanding or unrealistic expectations by their parents may feel constantly pressured. Failure to meet such standards may trigger self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy, possibly harming their confidence. 

Unhealthy familial dynamics such as constant criticism, comparison with siblings, and neglect may also shatter teenagers’ confidence in their abilities, leading to self-esteem struggles.

Eight Parent Strategies to Support Teen Self-Confidence

Here are nine parenting strategies for teen self-confidence: 

1. Fostering Open Communication

You should openly talk to your teenager and encourage them to share their feelings and challenges by: 

  • Actively listening to and showing genuine interest in what they have to say. 
  • Acknowledging their feelings without judgment. 
  • Recognizing and respecting their need for space and privacy. Do not force or coerce them to share what they are unwilling to. 
  • Being an approachable parent. Let your teenager know you are always willing to listen. 
  • Regularly checking in with them. You can initiate casual conversations or create opportunities for them to share freely. 
  • Creating a safe and trusting environment. Refrain from impulsive reactions. 
  • Giving supportive and non-judgmental responses during conversations. 
  • Offering constructive feedback. Instead of criticisms, focus on solutions. 
  • Sharing relevant personal experiences to help them understand their experiences is normal.

2. Encouraging Independence and Responsibility

You should empower your teen to make decisions and learn from their outcomes through the following: 

  • Foster opportunities for them to make decisions. 
  • Provide guidance and support instead of imposing decisions. 
  • Encourage them to make informed choices. You should also help them understand the potential consequences of their decisions. 
  • Help them improve their self-awareness and critical thinking by encouraging them to reflect on their decisions and outcomes. 
  • Remind them that failure or setbacks are valuable learning experiences, not mistakes. 
  • Act as a role model by portraying thoughtful decision-making and accountability. 
  • Show that you trust their judgment by respecting their choices. 
  • Help them refine their decision-making process by offering constructive feedback.

3. Highlighting Strengths and Achievements

Here’s how to highlight your teenager’s strengths and achievements: 

  • Regularly acknowledge and applaud them for their achievements, however small. 
  • Highlight their strengths and recognize the effort they put into given undertakings when offering praise. 
  • Celebrate their milestones and successes. 
  • Encourage them to reflect on their achievements and recognize their strengths and capabilities. 
  • Acknowledge their achievements in the presence of family or community members. 
  • Emphasize effort and improvement over outcomes. 
  • Help them build on their strengths and work on potential growth areas through constructive feedback.

4. Modeling Positive Self-Talk and Behavior

Here is how you can portray healthy self-confidence and resilience: 

  • Facing challenges with a positive attitude. 
  • Incorporating healthy self-talk and affirmations in your daily routine. 
  • Recognizing and embracing your mistakes and imperfections. 
  • Showing your teenager that it’s okay to ask for help by seeking support when overwhelmed. 
  • Engaging in self-care activities for enhanced mental health and emotional well-being. 
  • Embracing change and adaptability in your life. 

5. Supporting Passion and Interests

You should encourage your teenager to invest and engage in activities that boost their sense of accomplishment and identity. Here is how you can support your teenager’s passion and interests:

  • Show genuine interest in their passions and interests. You can ask questions (without prying) and give them a listening ear whenever they need to talk. 
  • Show your enthusiasm and support by attending events they are participating in. 
  • Create a safe space within the home where they can pursue their interest. 
  • Help them connect with peers, mentors, or community organizations that share their interests. 
  • Celebrate their achievements or milestones as they pursue their interests or passions. 
  • Encourage them whenever they run into setbacks. 
  • Respect their passions and interests as long as they are healthy. This applies to whether they differ from your experiences or not. 
  • Help them balance their interests with other responsibilities. This requires helping them manage and prioritize their time effectively.

6. Navigating Social Media Wisely

Social media is a major contributor to teen self-esteem and confidence issues. You should help your teenager navigate social media wisely by: 

  • We are educating them about the potential risks of social media. 
  • Establishing and communicating rules, boundaries, and consequences regarding privacy settings, screen time, and permissible online behavior. 
  • Teaching them to evaluate any information they come across on the internet critically. 
  • Monitor their social media activity. However, be careful not to invade their privacy.
  •  Encouraging them to prioritize offline interactions. 
  • Teaching them the importance of being a responsible internet user or digital citizen. 
  • Encouraging them to limit their screen time and take regular social media breaks. 
  • Offering necessary support and guidance if they encounter negative social media experiences or challenges.

7. Involve Them in Different Activities to Boost Teen Self Confidence

You can help your teenager boost their self-confidence by encouraging them to engage in activities that boost their confidence. These include: 

  • Sports, such as basketball, tennis, and soccer.
  • Regular exercise or physical activity. 
  • Creative activities, such as music, drawing, or painting. 
  • Volunteering in community projects. 
  • Engaging in public speaking initiatives or debate clubs. 
  • Taking on leadership roles in school or peer organizations. 
  • Practicing mindfulness and meditation. 
  • Practicing positive self-talk and affirmations. 
  • Spending time with friends and engaging in healthy social activities. 
  • Learning a new skill.

8. Advocating for Professional Support When Needed

You should consider seeking professional support for teen confidence or low self-esteem when necessary. Here are a few signs that show your teenager may benefit from professional intervention: 

  • Significant academic decline. 
  • Constant avoidance of school activities, social settings, and family meetings. 
  • Persistent feelings of worthlessness or a pervasive lack of self-belief. 
  • Intense or extreme self-consciousness. 
  • Chronic validation seeking. 
  • Withdrawal from/ lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities. 
  • Engagement in risky behaviors or substance abuse.

Tailored Advice for Different Ages and Genders of Teens in Arizona

For 14-Year-Olds

“How Can I Help My 14-Year-Old Gain Confidence as They Start High School?”

High school is a pivotal stage in a teenager’s life. They may not enjoy the experience or benefit fully if they have lingering self-confidence issues. Here are a few strategies to help them build their confidence: 

  • Help them set achievable goals and expectations. 
  • Create a safe and open space where they can discuss their thoughts, feelings, or challenges. 
  • Give them space to make decisions and take responsibility for their actions. 
  • Provide constructive criticism on areas they should improve. 
  • Encourage and support them to explore their interests, hobbies, and passions at school. 
  • Celebrate their efforts and achievements as they start school for positive reinforcement. 
  • Reassure them whenever they feel doubtful or run into setbacks. 
  • Encourage and help them build positive relationships with their peers.

For 16-Year-Olds

What Strategies Can Boost My 16-Year-Old’s Confidence During These Pivotal High School Years?”

  • Encourage them to take leadership roles within the school.
  • Connect them with positive mentors and role models who can guide, support, or encourage them. 
  • Encourage them to make independent decisions regarding their schoolwork and extracurricular activities. 
  • Encourage and help them reflect on their values, strengths, and personal growth throughout high school. 
  • Teach them resilience by helping them understand that setbacks and failures are part of learning. 
  • Help them develop positive body image through self-care practices. Additionally, gently challenge any unrealistic standards present. 
  • Encourage them to build relationships with friends and peers who share similar values. 
  • Encourage and continue supporting them in pursuing their passions and interests. 
  • Offer them positive outlets and avenues for self-expression, such as art, writing, and music.

Teen Girls vs. Teen Boys: Understanding and Addressing Gender-specific Confidence Issues.

Here are a few tips that can help you understand and address gender-specific confidence issues in teens: 

  • Learn about confidence-related gender differences. For example, a lack of confidence in girls often manifests as body image issues, while for boys, it may trigger aggressiveness. 
  • Talk to your teen about some gender-specific issues they may be facing. Remember to create a safe space for opening up. 
  • Challenge common gender stereotypes. Motivate your teenager to pay less attention to traditional gender norms when pursuing activities and interests.
  • Promote positive body image for girls. Remind them to focus more on their inner qualities. 
  • Teach your teen to be more assertive.
  • Seek professional help where necessary.


Parents play an important role in helping teens build confidence or esteem. You should highlight your teen’s strengths and achievements, help them navigate social media wisely, foster open communication, and encourage them to be independent and responsible. You should also model positive self-talk and behavior, support their passions and interests, and involve them in activities that boost their self-esteem. 

Most importantly, recognize when to seek professional help. At Nexus Teen Academy, we are committed to helping you raise a happy, fulfilled, and healthy teenager. Do not hesitate to contact us if your teenager’s self-confidence issues get out of hand.

Frequently Asked Questions

You can help your teenager cope with academic pressure without adding stress by: 

  • Teaching them how to manage their time well. 
  • Encouraging and helping them maintain a balanced schedule. 
  • Giving them a listening ear whenever they need to vent or share school-related information or concerns. 
  • Encouraging them to engage in self-care practices, including mindfulness, exercise, and adequate sleep. 
  • Helping them set realistic and achievable academic goals. 
  • Acknowledging and celebrating their academic achievements. 
  • Offering academic assistance and resources.

Here’s how you can help your teenager stay safe even as they pursue their independence:

  • Set clear behavioral boundaries and expectations.
  • Educate them on staying safe as they go about their day or activities.
  • Teach them to make responsible decisions. 
  • Maintain the right level of supervision. However, remember to respect their boundaries and privacy. 
  • Keep track of their online activities and social media usage. 
  • Always be ready to offer support and guidance. 
  • Encourage them to hang out in safe spaces and with people they trust.

Teenagers who are excessively praised may become overly reliant on external validation. This may affect their capacity for internal motivation and interfere with their confidence, especially when the praise stops coming. Constant praise may also lead to fear of failure, a false sense of accomplishment, difficulty accepting criticism, and diminished resilience, which can all interfere with self-confidence.

Here is how you can help your teenager navigate peer pressure safely: 

  • Educate them about peer pressure and the potential impacts of negative peer pressure.
  • Help them identify their values and set personal boundaries. 
  • Encourage them to form friendships with peers who share similar values and interests. 
  • Help them develop a strong sense of identity by nurturing their strengths and talents. 
  • Be a positive influence by demonstrating resilience in your life and activities. 
  • Help them develop or refine their assertiveness skills.

Here is how you can discuss body image issues without upsetting or triggering your teenager: 

  • Initiate the conversation gently. Remember to express your concern for their well-being. 
  • Allow them to contribute freely. Listen actively and do not monopolize the conversation. 
  • Introduce issues related to body image gently. For example, you can start by discussing the unrealistic standards portrayed by the media.
  • Encourage them to focus more on healthy habits instead of on their appearance. 
  • Teach them self-compassion. Encourage them to be kind to themselves and focus on their positive traits or strengths.

Use the following strategies to help your teen set goals: 

  • Help them identify their strengths, interests, and weaknesses and use them as guiding factors during goal-setting. 
  • Teach them how to set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound goals. 
  • Help them break down large goals into manageable steps. 
  • Allow them to own their goals and decisions even as you offer support and guidance. 
  • Teach them to adapt their goals based on priorities and changing circumstances. 
  • Be a good model through your goal-setting.

The following tips will come in handy if your teenager is reluctant to participate in social activities: 

  • Try to understand the reasons behind their reluctance through open, non-judgmental dialogue. 
  • Encourage them to try new activities, but do not push too hard. Remember, it’s still important to respect their boundaries. 
  • Help them find activities in line with their passions and interests. 
  • Encourage them to begin with low-pressure social activities before gradually scaling.
  • Encourage and reassure them. Let them know it’s okay to feel nervous or anxious in certain situations. 
  • Obtain professional help if necessary.

Explore the following if you need more resources on teen mental health and confidence-building:

  • Relevant online resources
  • School counselors 
  • Community mental health counselors
  • Parenting books or local libraries 
  • Local or national adolescent mental health support organizations. 
  • Professional counselors and therapists 
  • Parenting workshops 
  • Relevant online forums and support groups
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