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How to Deal with a Stubborn Teen

Mother arguing while teen covers ears in frustration, illustrating how to deal with a stubborn teen effectively and patiently.

When your teen becomes stubborn, it can become difficult to deal with, and you may not know what to do. A teen being stubborn is not always a sign of rebellion. Sometimes, it represents their growing desire for identity and independence. However, this can still weigh heavily on you, making you worry about your teen’s future.

When that happens, it is important to understand how to balance empathy with authority. In this article, we will look at why teens become stubborn and how to deal with it. 

For immediate professional assistance with teen behavioral challenges, do not hesitate to contact Nexus Teen Academy.

Understanding Teen Stubbornness

Knowing why your teen is stubborn can help you stay patient and support them. Various factors cause stubbornness in adolescents; let’s get a better understanding of this problem.

Why Can Teens Be So Stubborn?

During adolescence, the brain is not fully developed, leading to feelings that can be stronger than judgment. Therefore, your teen will likely act on impulse without thinking about the consequences of their actions. However, as they grow and their brain develops, stubbornness may disappear.

Adolescence also increases pressure, stress, and mood swings. Teenagers go through rapid hormonal changes, which intensify their emotions. Stress and lack of adequate sleep worsen hormonal changes, lower patience, and can subsequently lead to conflicts at home.

Additionally, some teens become stubborn to test your limits as a parent. This is normal as they try to identify themselves. Remember, at this stage, your teen is practicing adulthood and may not know the best ways to do that. You can help by setting clear boundaries to help them test their choices in a safe, predictable frame.

It is also during teenage years that peer approval is central to a teen’s life. At this stage of development, your teen will value social rewards more than your warnings. Meaning, they will likely reject your views if they do not align with what a friend says or will make them lose social status.

Nonetheless, sometimes stubbornness covers a deeper mental health struggle. Depression, anxiety, oppositional defiant disorder, or ADHD in teens may look like anger or refusal. Therefore, if your teen’s stubbornness is extreme and lasting, do not hesitate to seek professional help. Early intervention will improve outcomes and prevent serious harm.

What to Do About a Stubborn Teen

Mother calmly listening to her teenage daughter on the couch, showing the importance of hearing a stubborn teen’s opinion.

Do not respond violently or with extreme punishment. You need a clear plan that promotes growth and minimizes conflict. Do not break the trust between you and your teen.

How to Bond with a Stubborn Teen

  • Start by actively listening to your teen without judgment. Do not interrupt them as they speak. Showing concern and respect will encourage a more honest talk.
  • Verbalize what you hear by repeating their main point in your own words. Rephrasing shows that you understand, and also reduces arguments.
  • Set straightforward rules. Explain the reason for the rule and potential consequences for non-compliance. Let your teen participate in the process of making rules and choosing consequences. This will teach them responsibility and make them feel respected. However, do not compromise the non-negotiable rules.
  • As you select consequences, go for the natural ones over harsh ones. The idea is not to harm or make your teen feel pain. Always tie the punishment to the broken rule and stay consistent. For instance, if your teen breaks a curfew, you can withdraw or minimize late-night privileges.
  • Make an effort to share more time together, not just during heavy talks. You could go for a drive, take a walk, or watch a movie together. Let your teen know that you are always available to build more connections.
  • Lower criticism and increase positive attention. Praise your teen for their effort and celebrate all wins, even the small ones. Say out loud the good things they do to encourage better choices.
  • Model the behavior that you want to see. Your teen learns emotional control by watching you at home. So, use a steady voice and apologize when you wrong them or make a mistake. Avoid or logically resolve family disputes in a respectful manner.
  • Conduct brief family meetings every week to improve family bonds. Keep the meetings structured and allow everyone to share their concerns or wins. You can also use this time to set rules, chores, rewards, and consequences. This will promote shared responsibilities and a better understanding.
  • Limit screen time during family time or before bed. Suggest and implement alternative activities like balanced meals, physical exercise, and healthy sleep patterns. Teach your teen a routine that stabilizes their moods.

In all that you do, choose your battles. Strive only to change what you can at home and seek professional help for what is beyond your control.

Getting Help for a Stubborn Teen

Here are a few steps to take if you believe that you need professional help for a stubborn teen:

  • Be vigilant for warning signs such as withdrawal from family, skipping school, talk of suicide or self-harm, mood swings, or risky behavior.
  • Note the observations you make, including dates, time, the event, and people present.
  • Discuss your observations and concerns about their safety with your teen.
  • Explain to your teen the importance of early intervention and encourage them to seek help. It is normal for your teen to resist professional help, so be patient.
  • Talk to your teen’s school counselor or pediatrician. They can inform you of other observations they make and probably recommend assessments or a local therapist.
  • Include your teen in exploring the different types of treatment and what could be best for them. Note and value their preferences and interests.
  • Assure your teen of your continued support and availability throughout. You can offer to attend the first therapy session with them.
  • Visit a local therapist together and explain your teen’s challenges. Be honest and also encourage your teen to speak openly with the therapist to allow adequate evaluation. The professionals will help design the most appropriate treatment plan for your teen.

Nevertheless, always seek immediate professional help when your teen is a danger to themselves or others. Call your local crisis or emergency lines and remain with your teen as help comes. Your quick action can save a life.

What Happens in Professional Treatment for Excessively Stubborn Teens

Teen girl sitting in therapy session with counselor, representing professional treatment for excessively stubborn teens.

Experts use evidence-based treatment methods to help teens with extreme stubborn behavior. Most of these methods are therapeutic in nature, but medication may also be used when required.

Common Counseling Techniques for Stubborn Teens

Before treatment begins, the expert starts by building trust. It is vital that your teen feels safe and respected to allow for any progress. Therefore, you will notice that the initial and subsequent early sessions will focus on rapport, open conversations, and shared goals.

During evaluation, the experts will determine whether your teen requires outpatient treatment or otherwise. Oftentimes, when your teen’s condition is severe and requires close supervision, experts will recommend more intensive care options like inpatient, teen partial hospitalization programs, or outpatient treatment.

Afterward, professionals will use the following treatment approaches:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT Benefits your teen identify their negative thought patterns. The therapist then helps them to replace these thoughts with positive ones. Your teen will also learn healthy coping skills, strategies to manage their emotions, and problem-solving. CBT is suitable when stubbornness is linked to anxiety, impulsive behavior, or mood disorders.
  • Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT): May be used in conjunction with CBT to help your teen manage intense emotions. It teaches communication and distress tolerance skills. So, if your teen acts out of frustration, they will benefit from DBT’s emphasis on self-control and balance.
  • Family Therapy: This approach is used to help the whole family heal. It emphasizes better communication, understanding, and rebuilds trust at home. As a parent, you will also learn how to support your teen better during and after treatment.
  • Mindfulness Techniques: Mindfulness Techniques include body scans, meditation, and deep breathing exercises. They help your teen to explore their body and thoughts. Breathing exercises also reduce reactivity, allowing your teen to pause before refusing or arguing.
  • Motivational Interviewing: This approach uses questions and reflection to bring out your teen’s own reasons to cooperate. It promotes internal motivation and avoids power struggles.
  • Experiential Therapies: These include music, art, and outdoor activities. They provide your teen with safe ways to express their feelings without verbalizing them. They open paths for reflection and self-awareness, reducing defensiveness.
  • Medication: Medication is often used alongside teen therapy when mood disorders, ADHD, or other mental health issues underlie the stubborn behavior.

For best results, professionals usually design a comprehensive treatment plan that combines all these approaches. Together, they offer holistic healing and lasting recovery.

Teen Behavioral Health Treatment at Nexus Teen Academy

Teen stubbornness is a normal behavior during adolescence and may disappear. Sometimes, it can also be a serious issue linked to mental health or other behavioral problems. As a parent, you must understand why your teen is stubborn and learn how to be patient and offer relevant support. Try building healthy bonds with your teen at home through shared responsibilities, routines, and clear rules. If things get out of hand, seek professional help.

Nexus Teen Academy offers professional help for teens struggling with behavioral challenges, including extreme stubbornness. We have both teen female and teen male treatment centers to ensure your son or daughter gets the gender-specific help they need. We use proven therapeutic models for treatment and administer medication when relevant. Your teen will receive personalized and comprehensive treatment to address their behavioral challenge and any other underlying issues. To learn more about our teen behavioral health treatment, contact our team today!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Nexus Teen Academy typically serves adolescents between 12 and 17 years old. Programs are tailored to meet the developmental, emotional, and academic needs of every teen.

The duration of treatment varies depending on your teen’s needs and the severity of their condition. Some teens require a few weeks while others require months to stabilize and achieve lasting recovery.

Most insurance providers cover part of the treatment costs. However, the coverage depends on your provider. You can verify your insurance with us to be certain.

author avatar
Executive Director Hannah Carr, LPC and nexus_admin